When we first found out about James' chromosomal anomaly, my plan had been to keep an emergency list of things needed at Target and ask someone to pick those things up if we were lucky enough to have James with us long enough to take him home from the hospital. Unfortunately, I realized that the car seats available there were not rated for the tiny weights we expect from little James. Babies R Us is just too far away to send someone there on the day of delivery to go get a seat...so we finally got our act together and faced the baby monstrosity. I did OK in the beginning - we decided to pick up a few more little outfits...but as the kids chose an outfit each I had to walk away. I then set about the task of efficiently selecting a car seat. By the time we got to the bassinets, I had slipped into the "ANGER" stage of grief again and had to sneak away and let ed and the kids make the choices. So now we have a boxed car seat and bassinet in the garage...with the receipts taped to them...hoping we get to open them soon.
Just a few hours later, I had a doctor's appointment. My blood pressure was high...like put me in a holding room high. I have no idea why that would be ;) No stress here! Thankfully my blood pressure has come down with some careful selection of things that I choose to worry about and avoiding caffeine/decreasing sodium. Otherwise, everything continues to be going pretty darn well! James seems to be a fan of disco music and is dancing all the time!
I'm so huge I can't hide it at all anymore. I kind of appreciated being able to hide the belly under the white coat and avoid conversations for awhile, especially when we first found out. As many of you know, I don't have much of a filter; so in the beginning I didn't have the ability to smile and nod when people offered their congratulations. I'd just spill the morbid details to anyone who asked (well, not to patients, but to everyone else). As the pregnancy is now undeniable and even more people offer their congratulations and their pleasant questions of "when are you due," "is it a boy?" and "how is the pregnancy going?" I can finally just give the basic replies, "in a few weeks," "yep you guessed right," and "as well as can be expected!" It's tougher around people that I have known for years who clearly don't know the situation yet (gosh darn rumor mill, get to work!) I'm just too tired and emotional to tell the story again. So I am learning to smile and nod. Whodda thunk I'd ever learn that ;)
Because of James' risk of stillbirth and risk of slowed growth, we have chosen to induce a bit early to help optimize our chances of getting to meet and hold him while he is still alive. The induction is coming up before the end of the month. On the one hand, I am just excited to hold him either way and I'm ready to find out what comes next. All of the uncertainty is so hard for me. On the other hand, I'm a freaking hot mess. Work has been crazy busy lately which is a good distraction, although it doesn't stop the tearful escapes to the bathroom!
Thank you to every one of you who has listened to me talk and vent, forgiven me for moodiness (even more than usual), offered kind words, prayers, and support; the amazing people in my life have truly made this such a remarkable and unexpectedly enriching journey.
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