a bit of hiding!

Thank you to everyone for your kind words and generous spirits!  We are holding our heads up and getting through each day as it comes.  There are tears.  I get mad.  I get really mad.  But we will make it through to a better understanding of ourselves and our existence.

I had the most amazing birth experience and I am so grateful for what we got to have with James.  Do I wish we had more, absolutely...but were one minute away from having nothing, so we are super-appreciative for the time we had.  I haven't written his birth story yet, but I will;  I am not sure I will be able to share it - although I wear my heart on my sleeve and have no filter, these moments are so intensely personal I don't know if I can.  On the other hand, it is hard to have something so beautiful and not share it with the world.  I guess the most important part is that I get it down on paper, then decide where it goes.

For now, we do not plan a memorial service.  James' life was short and beautiful.  Every moment of it was a memorial and testament to him and for now, we are content to remember him through those moments.  In time, we may plan some sort of memorial fundraising event to benefit trisomy18.org.  But not yet.